Many women wonder why their husbands are still not satisfied despite all the sacrifices they make to make themselves available whenever they ask for it, and many men likewise are bothered why their wives still make excuses whenever they make sexual advances towards them despite their effort to satisfy them the last time they had it. The truth is, sex is more than rising and sinking or entering in and pouring out. I mean what gives a couple maximum pleasures and best satisfaction is more than entering into and coming out of the female vagina.

For a couple to enjoy maximum sexual pleasure there are ways to go about it. This knowledge is what is lacking in many marriages, and it is causing a lot of pains, heartaches, and great disappointment for couples. This is mostly the cause of infidelity among married people. Like a man responded to one of my past write ups in this column, a lot of men in the middle age bracket are fast losing their wives to other men, who have learnt and internalized the skills needed to give a woman sexual pleasure. Of course, this is also the reason why some men engage in extra-marital.

The reason why the knowledge of sexual skills is lacking among couples is due to the fact that these skills are not inborn, but have to be acquired by individuals. They are not things that an individual is born with, but they have to be acquired through the process of learning, and from the experience gathered by couples in the very act of sexual intercourse. Of course, it is not an easy thing to acquire these skills, just like learning other trades or studying to be an expert in any field of human endeavor is not easy. It requires commitment, patience, understanding, time, money and energy. This is why a lot of people find it difficult to acquire these skills.

To some men, it is simply unnecessary and unimaginable to start learning the skills needed for maximum sexual pleasure. They simply believe they are naturally endowed at giving pleasure to women since they derive pleasure from the act. Thus, they dont even get started at all, not to talk of improving on the skill. Whatever they have been able to pick up in the process of sexual intercourse experience, or hear say from friends, and in public gatherings, are the bedrock of their sex life. No wonder they keep wondering why there are so many problems bedeviling them as married people. Without sexual satisfaction, the marriage will suffer more from other challenges of life the couple will face.

Another thing we have to face in this part of the world is the fact that parents, religious organizations, to mention a few, do not have any formal method of educating their young ones about the act of sex. Like it has been rightly pointed out by many respondents of this column and at other forum of marital interaction, no father or mother ever sat down their offspring to teach them the skills for sexual satisfaction. Rather, they just believe that when they get to the bridge, they will get to cross it somehow. They expected them to learn the act of sex when they get married, afterall, no parent taught them whatever they now know. And the truth is, not many of our parents actually know what to teach us. To many of them, sex is as much a riddle to them as it is to us. They have as many unanswered-questions as we have about it, and just as they are still able to get along somehow, they believe we also will get along in spite of whatever dissatisfaction we face.

To be continued..